Choosing to remain a virgin
until marriage is a respectable personal decision for
either sex. There are many good reasons for pledging
to wait until marriage to have sex, including
protecting your sexual health, preserving the sanctity
of sex, and honoring a special commitment to someone
who is significant in your life (your spouse). If you
have come to a well thought-out decision about your
virginity, this article will help you stay true to
your principles.
Do This- 1Know why you made that decision. Your basis for making your choices could be motivated by anything from practicality to theology. Because it is your body, you are allowed to have whatever justifications you'd like about your personal choices. Knowing that you are virgin saves you a lot of a stress, including worrying about whether you are pregnant or have an STD, paying for contraceptives, facing the possibility of needing an abortion or being forced to start a family before you are ready. On the other hand, many people feel as though the Bible dictates that your virginity should be a gift that you give to your spouse after marriage.
- 2Be comfortable with your decision. Understand your own reasons for choosing to wait until marriage to have sex, and affirm why those reasons are important to you by writing them down. It may help to post an abridged list on your fridge or desk wall so you can look at it to remind yourself why you made your decision. Posting the list in personal places that you frequent will make it convenient for you to re-affirm your beliefs in times of doubt or temptation.
- You don't need to justify your choices to the
people around you. Let people know that you are only
informing people about your decision so that they can
be respectful towards your beliefs; you are not trying
to lecture them about how they should live their life
or to get their approval.
- You don't need to justify your choices to the
people around you. Let people know that you are only
informing people about your decision so that they can
be respectful towards your beliefs; you are not trying
to lecture them about how they should live their life
or to get their approval.
- 3Avoid temptation. Don't be alone with someone of the opposite sex in situations where sex would be very tempting. When passion or sexual tension pervades in an environment, you may hastily make a decision that you will later regret. Make your own life easier by choosing to avoid those situations to begin with when you are in an unclouded mental state. The most important thing is to make a decision before you are tempted by sex, because if you have not set limits for yourself, then you will do what feels right at the time. That may be a decision that you will regret later.
- Keep meeting and dating. Do not be desperate, but
don't feel you need to remain alone. A good night
kiss, a hug, or holding hands with a person you
enjoyed being with is quite appropriate.
- Keep meeting and dating. Do not be desperate, but
don't feel you need to remain alone. A good night
kiss, a hug, or holding hands with a person you
enjoyed being with is quite appropriate.
- 4Reaffirm your decision. Many people have made the choice you have made, so don't give up hope. You will meet friends and potential romantic partners who feel the same way as you do, so don't be afraid about being yourself.
- Understand not everyone will agree. Respectfully
agree to disagree with people who have made different
sexual choices. You may want to discuss your reasons
for making your respective choices, and you may even
get into a friendly debate questioning each other's
values. But at the end of the day, both you and your
friends should realize that each person is allowed to
decide whatever they want with their body and that
neither party should attempt to convert or condemn the
other for their choices.
- Recognize that many people brag about how many
sexual relations they have had, but don't let that
make you feel inferior. Remember that you have
different values from those people, and that the
number or frequency of intercourse one engages in is
not a universal measure of success.
- Understand not everyone will agree. Respectfully
agree to disagree with people who have made different
sexual choices. You may want to discuss your reasons
for making your respective choices, and you may even
get into a friendly debate questioning each other's
values. But at the end of the day, both you and your
friends should realize that each person is allowed to
decide whatever they want with their body and that
neither party should attempt to convert or condemn the
other for their choices.
- Learn how to say no in case anyone tries to pressure you into intercourse. Learning to say no may mean the difference when it comes down to a sexual situation.
- Understand the difference between displays of affection and actual intercourse. Saving your virginity does not mean that you need to abstain from all displays of emotion. Just make it known from the onset that it will go no further, as you have decided to remain a virgin until marriage. You might very well be surprised to hear that they feel the same way.
- Respect yourself, and others will respect you. If someone laughs or makes fun of you, just turn your back and ignore it.
- Know in your heart that your decision is for the best. Look forward to one day meeting and marrying someone who feels as you do.
- Make sure that your decision came from long hours of really thinking about it. This way, you will be able to remain firm when someone attempts to talk you out of it.
- You can buy a purity ring, which symbolizes your vow to God (if you believe in Him) and yourself to stay pure until marriage. When someone tempts you, just look at your finger with the ring and remember the promise. It is usually worn on the ring finger and when you get married it gets replaced by the wedding ring.
- Stay sober! According to a 1999 study published by The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, teens who drink are seven times more likely and those who use drugs are five times more likely to have sex than those who do not. In a 2002 survey conducted by the Kaiser Family Foundation, almost one-third of sexually active young people age 15-24 said they had "done more" sexually than they had planned while drinking or using drugs.
- Try to find people who share the same thoughts , so that you can help each other to stay on the right track. But if you don't find in your working place or among your friends , try using the internet and you will find many. You can talk about you experiences and they shall help you and tell you what is right.
- Choosing not to have sex until marriage is a personal decision, and as such others may think differently about the matter. Try not to be judgmental. What is right for you may not be right for someone else. Remember that even as you have the freedom to abstain, someone else has the freedom to choose to have sex before marriage.
- Recognize that your mind may change, and thus you need to stay informed. Even if you choose to abstain, research STD transmission and birth control methods.
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